Hello everyone, and welcome to today’s episode of The Love connection.
Just kidding, but Elaine’s book, We All Married Idiots, is filled with great advice for couples, so don’t turn that dial. (For those of you too young to have any idea what I am talking about, um… Google it.)
Me: The word, idiot is derived from the Greek language and means common man. When someone refers to another person as an idiot, they’re actually calling them human. In your book, We All Married Idiots, you use this as a theme to encourage husbands and wives to suffer each other’s idiosyncrasies. It’s pretty catchy, this idea of being only human, and one I think most of us can easily relate to. How did you come up with it?
Elaine: Hi, Olivia! Thank you for caring about marriages and interviewing me. I love the thought of us being only human. Isn’t that the truth!
Years ago, my hubby and I were having an argument. I thought to myself, I must have been an idiot to marry that idiot! Then I burst out laughing because that meant I was an idiot too! Later I learned that the word “idio” in the original Greek meant “common man.” How funny. I love that you refer to idiot as only human for that is what we are! It’s comic relief to think in the middle of an argument, Oh dear! We are both so human! Or I married an idiot and so did my spouse!
With a staggering divorce rate, I realized there are a lot of people thinking they married idiots. I do hope this book will help them see the truth that we really are all idiots married to idiots and living in an idiotic world.
Hopefully, We All Married Idiots teaches couples not to “suffer each other’s idiosyncrasies,” but to embrace them. Those quirks that irritate us now very well may be the traits we miss the most when our loved one is gone.
My goal is that husbands and wives will look at their spouse as a gift to treasure, not as an idiot to tolerate.
Me: The great thing about your book is its accessibility. What did it take to develop an approach that would capture the hearts of hurting people?
Elaine: That was easy. I was one of those hurting people. I understand the pain of a marriage going bad. The first year of our marriage I packed Dan’s bags three times. My husband refused to let go of his marriage vow proclaiming he was committed to me for a lifetime. How thankful I am for this man. We celebrated 43 years of marriage this year and I thank God for each one. I also shudder thinking what my life would have been like had I successfully thrown away this man I adore.
I know this — too many marriages give up too soon for too little reason.
Me: What made you take the stand for marriage?
Elaine: Early in our marriage, I was not a happy woman. So, I did what many unhappy women do — I blamed my husband. There was an emptiness in my heart that Dan could not fill. Thoughts of perhaps I married the wrong man entered my mind.
Ten years into our marriage we hit the wall. I stood at my kitchen window crying and pleading to God for our marriage. That day I gave my life to Jesus and told Him to do with me whatever He pleased. He pleased to do a lot. He filled my empty heart with love for Jesus and love for my husband like I had never known before. Our marriage has never been the same. It was then I realized my happiness does not depend upon my relationship with Dan. My happiness comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Me: If you could give one piece of advice to a husband or wife who is right now considering divorce, what would it be?
Elaine: Hold on to your marriage. Don’t let go. The person you are married to today is not the person he/she will be next week or next year. People change. They get better. They grow up. Love returns. Yes, your spouse is an idiot and so are you. If you give up your present idiot for another person who seems perfect, it won’t be long before you realize, Ugh! This person is an idiot too!
Before you head to the divorce lawyer, please read this book and learn God’s plan for your marriage. Many marriages have been helped by We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can.
Thank you for the interview, Olivia, and for encouraging married couples not to just endure their marriage, but to enjoy the beautiful gift of marriage God gave to them.
We All Married Idiots is available as a print book at your local books store, on Kindle and Nook, on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/We-All-Married-Idiots-Marriage/dp/0984765522/. Autographed copies available on my website, http://www.SplashesofSerenity.com.
Thanks for sharing your time and experiences with us, Elaine!